This is Entry 287: Brian on the Aisle #14

That Other Age of Uh:

A "Review" of Avengers 2: Age of Ultron.

Welcome to another installment of Brian on the Aisle, where I take a look at a movie that most everyone else has months after people have. The Movie this time is one that I think most people saw coming. It’s Avengers 2: Age of Ultron!

Before I get to my "review" of the movie I'll say this: what you are about  to read is in no way a full review of the movie just my feelings & there might be spoilers if you haven't seen the movie yet. But I think the movie came out a few months ago so the movie has already been spoiled awhile ago but I just thought I'd put that warning out there.

Onto my talking about the movie! Now it’s not like I haven’t spent a few dozen posts talking about Age of Ultron. But this isn’t that Age of Ultron, this is a different. I knew it was going to be different going in. There was no way they were going even attempt to do the comic on the silver screen.

Now, is different good or bad? Both. My feelings towards the Avengers movies are not all that great. If I were to rank the Marvel Studios films, The Avengers is either near the bottom or at the bottom. What’s at the top? The Captain America movies with probably Guardians of the Galaxy next on the list.  This film did one thing better then it’s predecessor: it did not lag in the middle. I felt first film did way too much set up to then lag along in the middle before slamming into a over long fight scene for an ending.  There might be too much & not enough going on at the same time in this movie (one thing it it shares with the unrelated comic of the same name). I did like parts of the film, but these are small parts. A line here, a line there. A small interaction there, a small scene over there.

Of the new characters: Scarlet Witch comes off the best. Her official Avengers costume looks stupid. Quicksilver has a pointless death (he can move a truck quick enough to protect Hawkeye & Child but he couldn’t move behind the truck himself?) My choice for Quicksilver’s on the silver screen is the one from X-Men: Days of Future Past. He could have had move screen time then he got. Just one mission to break out his maybe dad? He can’t go with Xavier & friends to stop Mystique from killing the president? No? oh… ok. If you say so, Movie.

I guess my biggest problem with the movie is how connected it all was. No, I don’t mean the various cameos from characters from other Marvel movies. I’m talking how everything was too damn connected. Of course Hydra had Loki’s staff & had a bunch of half built robots laying around that Ultron could use later. Of course Iron Man had built his own mini army of robots that Ultron could use quite easily later. Of course he already had the idea & name for an super duper mega cool robot. They don’t explain where the name Ultron came from. Banner & Stark just know the name. Ultron just excepts it. 

“Yup. That’s my name. I hate everything else about Stark but I’ll still call myself the name he gave me. I might not call myself that BUT I will respond to it when people call me it.”

Another thing: WHY DID STARK HAVE TO MAKE ULTRON? Why make such a big alteration to the comics. Hank Pym has 3 things he’s known for in the comics. The movies already wrote him out a founding Avenger. Why not take the most interesting of things away from him, too!

My List goes as follows:

1. Created Ultron.

2. Founding member of the Avengers.

3. Is Ant-Man/Giant-Man.

They could have brought him in.

“Hey! This staff thingy Loki was using seems to have a computer in it. I need to call in someone who knows a lot of about this stuff. No, not Banner. Jarvis?”

“Yes?”

“Get me Hank Pym!”

“Yes. Right away.”

There you go. Pym is added in to your already overstuffed movie & he partly keeps his place in Marvel history. BUT NO: Banner & Stark have to be Ultron’s baby daddy. Ultron doesn’t even create The Vision. He has to get a only established in this film character to help him. WHY WOULD ULTRON HAVE A HUMAN HELP HIM CREATE HIS NEW BODY/VISION? ULTRON HATES ALL HUMAN LIFE! I DON’T CARE THAT SHE HAD SOMETHING HE NEEDED. ULTRON HATES HUMANS! HE’S HATED THEM FOR DECADES! ULTRON DOES NOT WORK WITH HUMAN FILTH!

I’m fine with Jarvis becoming the basis of The Vision, much more then I’m with Jarvis being an automated assistant & not a real person.

The cool, worked for decades backstories for Ultron & The Vision were tossed out in favor of… I don’t know what. Something less cool. Yeah… to do it right would have taken more time. But they could have at least attempted to do it. The Avengers movies have a timeline that stretches back to the 1940’s. They couldn’t have pulled something out of their collective butts & given them proper, not so connected origins.

One thing I noticed thing was how much James Spader, the voice of Ultron, sounds like Robert Downey Jr? That’s some good casting if they had thought that when he was chosen. One thing I disliked: Ultron being so chatty, I guess he gets that from Stark.  But it’s something I really disliked. It seemed to be off-putting to me. I don’t need my robotic death machine to be all jokey. Seems like a very Human thing to be doing. You know the thing you hate & want to kill off?

There is also so much heavy handed hinting at “Hey! Gotta make everyone hate each other! There has to be some sort of conflict! We are doing Civil War next time!” Might as well just called the movie Avengers 2: Prelude to Civil War co-starring Ultron. That makes more sense.

“I can’t trust anyone! I gotta do things behind your backs! I gotta protect the world with an Iron Sheild!” 

“Trying to stop wars that have not even happened have always started more wars!”

Another thing why can’t Black Widow & Banner just be friends? Close Friends? Why do you gotta hint that they are in a sexual relationship? “Don’t be playing hide the pickle!” Smooth move, Iron Man! Way to demeaning the possible relationship two of your fellow teammates might be having. Speking of relationships: Not sure about Hawkeye’s family. They seem an odd addition to the movie. They didn’t really add much to the movie. I did like seeing Linda Cardellini. She did her small part well.

I have 1 question: Why does Captain America keep taking off his helmet while out on missions? Helmets are there for a reason! They are there to protect you! Wearing them save lives! Your life maybe? WEAR YOUR HELMET! We know it's you, Chris Evans! You don't need to keep showing us your face!

The Thanos during credits cameo makes no sense being there. He didn’t play any part in the movie I just saw. Why are you there, Thanos?

If I can compare this movie to the unrelated comic for a moment: Way better ending to their story. Didn’t tell me that everything I had just seen didn’t actually happen due to some Deus Ex Machina BS.

That’s all I got at the moment. I might come up with more & if i do I’m make another post.

Until then: Stay Jazzy Everybody!