Wednesday, February 4, 2015

This is Entry 280: Falling off the Edge of The Spider-Verse!

Back in August, I did a break down of the prologue to the prologue of the Spider-Verse event (which can be seen here) & now that we are firmly in the trenches of the event I thought I’d give an update on what has been happening.

By the checklist that is in the back of most of the Spider-Verse books, there are 14 tie-in books to the series proper. There is also the 5 issue “Edge of Spider-Verse” series, the 2 issue of Amazing Spider-Man that lead up to the event, a lead up issue of Spider-Man 2099, 2 issues of Superior Spider-Man. So… 23 tie-in issues. Then the main series it’s self which is 5 issues. That’s 28 issues & I think I might of missed some stuff. That is a lot of stuff. Before you even get to the main series there are at least 12 issues, many event comics are dead & gone by that point. I’m not even counting any sort of epilogue issues or spin off series (there are going to be at least 2 that I know of).

1 thing before I go on: the guy in the cool looking diving helmet that I kept on calling Morlun last time wasn’t Morlun but his brother Karn. Morlun & Karn are members of a family called The Inheritors. What do they inherit? I don’t know. I still don’t know after reading a dozen or more comics. I’m guessing power of some kind. They seem to work on a Highlander principal: Kill every Spider-Person you can, absorb their life force until your the only one left standing which will lead to a crappy sequel. BUT given that I don’t regularly read Spider-Man comics, the only name I knew was Morlun & the character I was unfamiliar with shared a similar MO to what I had gathered about Morlun: it’s easy to get confused. I did say last time that it might not been Morlun but someone working with him. So…. I was close.

But… getting to the comics….

Karn & his cool looking helmet
Where to start? Let’s start with the issue following the one I talked about last time: Superior Spider-Man #33. We got what we’ll be getting in a number of Books so far. Let’s go to a random universe with a Spider-Man. He’s being chased Karn because he wants to have them for dinner literally.  A portal opens to show various other Spider-People show up to help out. FIGHT SCENE! This is the formula for many of comics leading up to the main event where we change gears to a slightly different type of set up. Spider-Verse is almost all set up with very little pay off.

In this issue Karn is helped out by 2 members of his “family”, fraternal twins Brix and Bora. I am having to look online what a number of these people’s names are. The books really like to tell you who each & ever Spider-Person is & what world they came from but the names of anyone else: you are on your own for the most part! Sometimes people will say the other names but most times they won’t. If I gotta do extra work to understand your book: your doing a crappy job.

The Family’s driving force is to kill various Spider-People across the multiverse. Not sure what happens after they kill one.  Sometimes they seem to just leave the Spider-Corpse in their home universe, where in other books it shows The Inheritors taking the body back to their home world called Loomworld (for all you Loom needs, right off the freeway) or Earth-001 to be “eaten” later. This also confuses me. Sometimes they seem to only suck the life force from a Spider-Person & at other times it seems like they are going to consume the actual person to give the life force from them. We never actually see them eating the person (I think). Maybe it’s different from Spider-Corpse to Spider-Corpse. The Inheritor’s keep mentioning the different smells & tastes of the Spiders, maybe some they wanna save & savor the taste?  Or at least gloat over back at home. The Inheritors also seem to be working off not just a Highlander principal but some sort of honor/dibs system. Honors/Dibs is like super important & stuff!

On Earth-001, there is the Master Weaver. Sadly I have yet to see a Dream Weaver anywhere in any of the comics which given the lyrics of that song I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s not referenced somehow somewhere. The Master Weaver sits in the middle of the Web of All Realities… uh… the Great Web of Life & Destiny. At least it looks like he does in every picture I see him in. He “spins” the portals the Inheritors use to travel via the Multiverse & he seems to be somehow connect to every Spider-People (maybe he cause he’s a spider-person himself?). The Master Weaver looks kind of cool & his gimmick is also kind of cool. The weaver is half robot which depending on the book & artist can look cool.

What is the issue actually about? I told you. Random Universe with a Spider-Man. He’s being chased Karn.  A portal opens to show various Spider-People show up to help out. FIGHT SCENE! Some of the less important Spider-People die. There is bickering between the Spider-People & between the Inheritors. Lather, rinse, repeat.

I’ve only read 2 of the Spider-Man 2099 tie in issues & 1 thing I noticed in regards to Spider-Verse: only one variation on a character gets to be in the main story. In Spider-Man 2099 #5, there are seen a few versions of Spider-Man 2099 & one of his dopplegangers (that’s 1 version of Spider-Man I have yet to see pop up in this series) contacts the one we are accustomed to seeing. It seems by the “luck” of the draw, He gets to be in the main event. Another thing most universe are only repressed by 1 person where as the 616 universe (the “main” Marvel Universe”) is represented by at least 6 people: Superior Spider-Man, regular Spider-Man, the original Spider-Woman (Jessica Drew), Spider-Girl (Anya Sofia Corazon), Scarlet Spider (Kaine Parker) & Silk.

*disgruntled sigh*

Silk. Why you even a thing? My first time seeing you (in Amazing Spider-Man #7) you go out to fight crime in what might be the stupidest costume: nothing but webbing! She does have a pink crop top & matching shorts on under it. BUT unless you saw her web up you don’t know that. Also, doesn’t webbing fade away after awhile? so… she could be left outside during a fight without a costume. “Halt, base villain! It is I, the Pink Panties Avenger!

Also in Issue 7 I see Peter Parker is hanging out with a little girl, who I have come to find out is the basis for the holographic helper Octo-Spidey (the Superior Spider-Man) uses. There is some story there which I don’t know. Not sure what it is. I could look it up but that might take more work then I wanna do. The girl does seem super smart for a child her age.  Silk does get a vasty better costume in Issue 8. But as a character just seems to be an inferior copy of other people. Other better Spider-People. Her back story (from what I’ve gleamed from the issues) is she’s a female Peter Parker which we don’t need since we have ACTUAL Peter Parker! We also don’t need another Spider-Woman running around New York: we already have a few & are getting more! Especially one with black hair: We already have one! If we wanted a young, untested female with spider based powers we already have one in Spider-Girl. Any reason for Silk to exist is already being filled by someone else & has been doing that job for a while.

Then we get to Issue #9. Oh, Issue 9. Marvel, how much did you not want me to like Silk? A lot? Well you succeeded! Big emphasizes on the Suck part! I’ve read 2 issue with her in it & she didn’t seem that bad of a character,  just kind of pointless. Then Issue 9 sent me over the edge (of the Spider-Verse). It’s morning in the 616 & Peter Parker is asleep. He might be naked. In comes Cindy Moon.  yeah.. that’s Silk’s real name. Not sure if that’s as bad a name as Future’s End Fifty Sue but it’s up there.

Cindy breaks into Peter’s apartment (?) to first stare at the maybe naked Peter Parker sleeping but to also talk to him about something. They have a problem! When ever they are close to each other their “animal urges” take over & they, to quote issue 9 “both feel the urge to mate. Like Spider-Bunnies.”  So far I have not seen any Spider-Bunnies in the event. There has been a Spider-Monkey & a Spider-Pig. This “problem” doesn’t seem like a problem to me because Issue 9 is the last time it’s brought up. The two of them interact in various situations after this & the “OMG I toats gotta have hot & sweat Spider-Sex with you!” never comes up. Maybe they are just good at keeping it in check THEN there isn’t a problem then, is there?  BUT Cindy has been thinking about this & has come up with the most ingenious plan to fix the whole darn thing: Peter should move!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Screw you, Cindy Moon & the irradiated spider you came in on! You don’t get to even suggest that sort of thing. If anything it’s her who should move! It would be the easier thing for her to do. She’s been spending the last few years/some period of time in a bunker/cave/hidden place somewhere & has no real ties to New York or the outside world. She doesn’t seem to have any family. She doesn’t have any friends beyond a little girl & Peter.  She has a job but hasn’t had it not for long. She could easily quit & move somewhere else. The Midwest! Silk, Iowa’s own Spider-Woman! She could go join the Great Lakes Avengers up in Minnesota. No… wait… I like the GLA & wouldn’t wish the plague of Silk on them. Silk could move to… the… The West Coast! yeah… The West Coast! That’s where most Marvel Super Heroes go if they don’t wanna be in New York!  Peter has way too many ties to New York for him to just pack up & leave. Plus, you think the rest of the super hero community is just going to except Cindy right into the club. “Hey! I have no idea who you are & you seem really untested in a fight. But if Spider-Man says your ok, I’m ok with you! Since when has Spider-Man’s word ever been untrustworthy?”  Plus in her further appearances in the event she really does not seem to have things together. There are many a “Damn it, Cindy!” moments in the event.

Before I get to the rest of Issue 9 which is the 1st part of the main series Let’s go back & talk about some of the stuff that lead up to it.

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The Prologue tie-in series “The Edge of Spider-Verse”

ISSUE #1: I think this issue could have gone to a different character.  It revolves around the Spider-Man from the “Spider-Man: Noir” books. The other 4 issues of brand new, never before seen characters. Noir Spidey has been around since 2009.  Plus a person is going to be a bit lost without past knowledge of who he is or what has happened in his past outings.  There is a recap page on the first page (the only Edge book to have one) but even with that I was a bit lost. I had read some of the Noir book back in ’09 but hadn’t since then. It wasn’t a bad story. Just was a bit lost & though the spot could have gone to someone else.

ISSUE #2: Most likely the most talked about & looked forward to issue of the set. The issue with Gwen Stacy as Spider-Woman. It’s also of the most fleshed out worlds & most fun. She’s a fan favorite online & Marvel seems to be giving in since they have already announced that after the Spider-Verse she’ll be running around the main universe for awhile. When she is introduced in Issue 9 along with her name & what world she is from , the issue says “your new favorite”

ISSUE #3: Another cool issue. This take a more scientific angle to Spider-Man. Aaron Aikman (who I don’t think will be showing up elsewhere since I think he died at the end of the issue) is a scientist who gave himself spider powers & created a cool suit to go with it. I’d read more about him (if he didn’t die at the end of the issue) & his world! Maybe a prequel series?

ISSUE #4: Creepy for the sake of being Creepy! I did not like this issue since that’s what it felt like it was doing. What if…. a Peter Parker like character was a sadistic jerk who lived with an equally Jerky Uncle Ben stand in & then the Parker stand in gets bite by a radioactive spider? OH NO! He’s still a Sadistic Jerk!  He thankful died at the end of the issue so we never have to see or hear from him ever again.

ISSUE #5: Has a cool Pacific Rim/Giant Robots feel to it. I’d return that world also but sadly I don’t think anyone for this issue appears elsewhere.

RECOMMENDATIONS: Check out Issues 2, 3 & 5. #2 might be a bit harder to find due to it’s popularity but it’s also the only book with a character that is going forth after the  event.

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The Spider-Verse Team-Up book is a lot of fun. Small groups of Spider-People all team-up to do stuff but is also by Spider-Writers & Spider-Artists from the past & present. Some fun stories but nothing really essential to the event at large!

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We now inch closer to the actually event with the first two of the Amazing Spider-Man tie-in issues. I got a problem with these. well…. mainly what is the last page of #8 as part of “The Amazing Spider-Mail” section which: contains no mail until you consider what is written there a letter from Senior Editor Nick Lowe. About 5 paragraphs in is this sentence:  “The main Spider-Verse story runs in the pages of AMAZING SPIDER-MAN starting in two weeks in AMAZING SPIDER-MAN #9!

uh… what?

The main Spider-Verse story runs in the pages of AMAZING SPIDER-MAN….”

what?

The main Spider-Verse story runs in the pages of AMAZING SPIDER-MAN….

If the the “main story” is in the pages of Amazing Spider-Man then what runs in the pages of… oh.. you know… the page of the comic actually titled Spider-Verse? Oh… extra stuff. Issue #1 was just further set up stuff that seems like a retread of what was in Superior Spider-Man #33 & Amazing Spider-Man #9. Issue #2 was basically another issue of “Spider-Verse Team-Up”. If anything else Issue 1 should have been part one of the main event with Amazing Spider-Man #9 part 2 & Issue 2 of Spider-Verse should have been the final part of the event with the 5 center parts of the event be in Amazing Spider-Man. The way it has been handled both issue were rendered useless/pointless.

Team-Up depicted here is not
contained in this comic.
The main story in Issues 7 & 8 is skippable event wise as they don’t apply to anything Spider-Verse related. It’s a 2 part team up story between Spider-Man & the new Ms. Marvel. Now the cover to Issue 8 might tell you otherwise. It would have to believe that Spider-Man, Ms. Marvel & Spider-Girl have an adventure which happens to be “Spider-Girl’s Last Stand!”  NOPE! Spider-Girl does not interact with Spider-Man or Ms. Marvel at all. This isn’t even her last stand: she continues on after this issue & her tale here only takes up the last 8 pages of the issue. As for most of his loved one’s this is there last stand. Spider-Girl’s family (save for her infant brother) are killed in this story. Who by? If you guessed Morlun, you’d be wrong. It’s his brother Daemos, which I had thought was Morlun & he was just wrong really huge. Most of the Inheritor men all look very similar to each other.

This also reads like half a story. The last half of a story. Like it was going to be 18 pages but they didn’t have space for it all so they cut out all the set up (something I wish they’d do elsewhere in this event) & just give you the end part. You don’t need to set up why people are dying just how they died but don’t spend too much time on it. It’s not like these are important characters like the Spider-Girl’s parents! Who are PETER PARKER and MARY-JANE WATSON! Or her boyfriend, which she did not in the Spider-Girl comics I had read BUT I only read the early Spider-Girl with any regularity. Still, that’s her boyfriend! He’s an important person to her! There death scenes are just brushed aside. They happen, moving on.

The back up story in Issue 7 involves Spider-UK, a Captain Britain counterpart who also happens to be Spider-Man. He notices that various Spider-People are dying in the multiverse (like those from a universe that looks a lot like the old “Spider-Man and his Amazing Friends” cartoon). He goes to the inter-dimensional HQ for the Captain Britain Corps but is given the brush since that “That’s a Spider-Man issue, we are the Captain Britain Corps. We have more important things to worry about”. He is then sent off by himself to search out a solution to the problem.

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And I think that’s enough for now. I’ll make another post talking about the main event it’s self. 

Until then: Stay Jazzy Everybody!


- Brian